Birmingham, AL: Roaches

 

Louisiana, July 2015.

Trigger alert for the squeamish. (Hell, I'm squeamish.)

They don't pay rent, take out the trash, or engage in entertaining conversation. They are squatters in my quarters.

Since being rootless, I've become familiar with these characters. Different sizes and shapes, different colorations. Some can fly, some are grounded.

But roaches, every one.

The first time I saw a roach in my Birmingham apartment was when the landlord showed the apartment to me as a prospective tenant. I gasped. The roach was big, it was fast, and it projected attitude. The landlord remarked placidly that his daughter had similar reactions as I when she encountered a roach like that. In negotiations about the apartment, the landlord agreed to one pest control application. 

After I moved in, I discovered two populations living rent-free in my place: the American and, most likely, the German. 

There were two communities in my Tucson apartment also. Their skittery populations surged and receded like high and low tides of the sea, dependent on the ins and outs of adjacent tenants and regular sprayings by the apartment management. The Tucson arthropods were small and swift. I never knew when a singleton would dart out from under my dishcloth as I lifted it from the sink edge first thing in the morning. So startling. But both varieties succumbed quickly to an assertive spray from my bottle of Clorox Clean-Up All Purpose Cleaner with Bleach Spray. (I may be lethal, but I'm no sadist.)

I can deal with the Germans. The Clorox spray is effective for spontaneous responses. And in Birmingham, with a landlord who doesn't care about pests in their tenants' apartments, the Hot Shot Ultra Liquid Roach Bait seems effective for ongoing, passive (to me, not the to roaches) control. 

But the hulking Americans! They laugh at the Clorox spray! They don't fit into the roach traps because they are too big. Finding the right shoe or other blunt weapon for a more personal, shivery kill takes too long in response to a sudden assault by one of these behemoths. So I bought a can of roach spray, which, if applied with vigor, ends them almost immediately. 

Thank goodness, I've never seen an American roach up on my kitchen counter or in my cabinets. Doesn't mean they didn't (don't) go there, I've just never seen one there. Consequently, my brain can deploy the "not seen, so doesn't happen" wash, and I can move about my kitchen in blithe serenity.

The Birmingham American roach prefers to loiter in the bathtub, so I have learned to open the shower curtain briskly, look quickly for an encroacher, and be ready to jump for the spray. 

I was not ready to see what I saw one day, something my brain can never un-see. 

Be prepared to be as grossed out as I was. 

In my self-care regimen, I strive for baby-smooth heels. To aid in this, I have a foot file. It has a steel grater on one side and sandpaper on the other side. 

I kept it on the side of my tub. 

Until .... 

 .... that one morning when I walked into my bathroom and I saw a GIGANTIC AMERICAN ROACH GRAZING ON THE DEAD SKIN REMNANTS ON THE FILE!!!!!!

Gahhhhhh!!!!!!! 

Gross, gross, gross. 

I killed the beast and then sanitized the file. 

These days, I wrap my file in plastic. 

But I have wondered, what else do they eat? Do they eat soap? 

Yes, apparently they do. 

Ew.

Other stories about roaches and me

2011: Ethiopia: Nazret: Introduction and a Brush With Fame

Later, I walked into the bathroom just in time to see a cockroach skittering toward me, the size of which I've only seen in a museum with a pin in it. I screamed.

2011: Ethiopia: Nazret: Saturday in Nazret

Oh, and evidently Azeb's absence was noted by Those That Creep In the Dark. When I turned the bathroom light on and counted to my usual 10 to allow furtive creatures time to scoot out, I encountered TWO of the gigantic cockroaches. Furthermore, they CHALLENGED me in such a way that I got out the broom to let them know who was (sort of) boss...... I considered several lethal options.

2011: Ethiopia: Hyenas, Fresh Goat, and a Crispy Roach [on my pizza] in Harar

Decided to lunch instead at the reliable Fresh Touch down the street. Ordered the vegetarian pizza. When it arrived, I dressed it with their wonderfully spicy chili sauce. Oh. Wait. I did order the vegetarian pizza, right? So what's with the crispy-curled roach sitting so perkily atop a pepper? Waiter! 

 2012: New Mexico: Roaches and Other Unpretty Neighbors 

Now that I'm in my apartment, it seems I see one roach per evening scuttling through my place, each a different brand. I've smashed all but one of the unwanted pests.

2013: New Mexico: Insect Life

 

2013: New Mexico: Arthropod Museum 

There were a couple of live Madagascar hissing roaches and Graeme was willing for me to hold one in my hands. I wanted to be willing, but I couldn't guarantee that once it was placed in my hand, I wouldn't immediately fling it across the room in squealy fear. Ryan had the good idea for me to place my hand on the table and let the roach creep crawl walk on it. I did do this, all the while giggling in the way one does when one is actually scared and not amused.

2013: New Mexico: Cup o' Roaches

2014: Louisiana - A general note about the insect situation: 

"South Louisiana is a giant sponge. That's why we keep in constant motion. If you stand still, you'll either sink or be eaten alive by giant insects."  Dave Robicheaux, Pegasus Descending, by James Lee Burke

2015: Louisiana: Creepy Crawly Day at Chico State Park  

Why do I feel compelled to look at things that make me go "ewww"?

2019: New Mexico: The Jump

The first time I walked through the passageway ..., I saw the enormous, segmented exoskeleton of the arthropod above, and I jumped like a cat surprised by a cucumber. 

 

 

 

Las Cruces NM 2019: The Jump

Rusty arthropod, Las Cruces, New Mexico. March 2019.

Friend Drake's dad, Beck, lives in the casita immediately behind Drake's house.

The first time I walked through the passageway between the two, I saw the enormous, segmented exoskeleton of the arthropod above, and I jumped like a cat surprised by a cucumber.

Ai, pendejo!!!!

Oh.

It's a screw.

Rusty arthropod, Las Cruces, New Mexico. March 2019.

Goddammit.


This experience reminds me of three others:

• Las Cruces, NM (2013): Arthropod Museum
• New Mexico (2012): Roaches and Other Unpretty Neighbors
• Ethiopia: Nazret (2011): Saturday in Nazret

Bernalillo, New Mexico: Cup o' Roaches

Observed in a yard in an apple green, plastic cup.

The whys and wherefores unknown.

 

A little boy was as tantalized as I was by the sight, and he plucked up the cup and carried it down the sidewalk to show family, then deposited it in another yard.

For all I know, this cup has been similarly picked up, carried, and re-deposited, over and over, for miles. 
 

New Mexico: Roaches and Other Unpretty Neighbors

When I looked into moving to New Mexico, I didn't think to look at the insect situation.

Now that I'm in my apartment, it seems I see one roach per evening scuttling through my place, each a different brand. I've smashed all but one of the unwanted pests.

So now I have done a little research on the insect - specifically roach - population in Alamogordo (and hereabouts) and discovered they're quite the ubiquitous little plague.

But by the way, here's a great photo of that insect hanging out in my park campsite last week:

Vinegarone, or whip scorpion. Credit: New Mexico Pest Management

And here's a group shot of the various roach species in these parts:

Roaches in the Alamogordo area. Credit: New Mexico Pest Management

All I can say is: Ew. 

I've got some breaks in my perimeter that need to be closed up, such as a seal at the base of my front door and something to close off a gap between my two French doors. Actually a somewhat narrow snake could crawl through there. (Do snakes eat roaches?)

It's a policy of my apartment complex owners not to tack down the carpet, so as you might imagine, beneath the carpet (new though it may be) could be a veritable roach metropolis. 

Now don't start thinking I don't like my new place, because I do. It's just that it looks like I'm going to have to get a little bad ass around here to protect my homestead. I'm reading that battening down the aforementioned hatches and boric acid can be effective.

Here's an amusing conversation about roaches in Alamogordo and Truth or Consequences. 

But still. Nothing compares thus far with the gigantic roach in Azeb's bathroom. 

 

 

Ethiopia: Nazret: Introduction and a Brush with Fame

English Alive Academy

Stephanie took me to both of the school campuses in the morning. A few blocks from Azeb's house in the "KG campus". This holds two nursery classes, two 1st level kindergarten classes, and one 2nd-level kindergarten class. There is a shaded playground, latrines, a library, an office, and a teachers' resource room.

About 1/2 mile away is the "grade campus", which houses grades 1st through 4th classrooms, a shaded eating area, latrines, an office, a library, and a teachers' resource room. Just before morning break, the cleaning staff water down the play area, otherwise, the kids would simply churn dust during recess.

En route to the KG campus, I checked the status of the almost-dead white horse. Now, it really was dead, with a bit of haunch gone and its intestines spilled out onto the ground, and its mouth pulled back from its teeth. Three brown dogs, pretty things, slept close by. Looked like a mother and two adolescent offspring. I liked that these dogs were there; almost a form of respect for the horse's value.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Back to the schools - the students are charming, polite, affectionate, engaged. How many hands did I shake? How many times did I say "good morning"? Countless, especially as quite a few children came back for seconds and thirds.





 

 

Around noon, Stephanie and I returned to Azeb's, where she served us a delicious lunch. I took a short nap, then checked out an internet cafe. Stephanie returned home to Addis.

In the evening, I pulled out my mp3 player and speaker to charge them. For fun, I put on an Ethiopian song by Mahmoud Ahmed, selected at random, for Azeb to hear.

 

I hadn't played more than about 10 seconds when Azeb said, "That's my brother".

And I had to pause mentally. I've heard "that's my brother" before in Ethiopia. This can mean: 1) the person is the speaker's brother; 2) this person is "like" a brother; or 3) total baloney.

Of course in this case, I quickly gathered my wits about me and said, "What?"

Azeb repeated, "That's my brother."

I: "You mean this singer is your brother?"

Azeb: "Yes"

I: "Really? Are you kidding?"

Damn. What are the odds here? I mean, how far do you have to go back in time to start the path that ends up at this astonishing intersection?

Later, I walked into the bathroom just in times to see a cockroach skittering toward me, the size of which I've only see in a museum with a pin in it. I screamed.