Tennessee: COVID-19 Unfolding, Part 8888: Not All Motels Can Be Two-Star

En route from Birmingham to Missouri, I stopped at a motel near Bells, Tennessee, for the night. Highway 20.  

 

No-star motel, Highway 20, near Bells, Tennessee. July 2021.

No-star motel, Highway 20, near Bells, Tennessee. July 2021.

Arizona: Phoenix: We take our bathroom security very seriously

I stayed at a modest motel in Phoenix over the weekend.


I had occasion to use the restroom in the lobby building. It's kept locked. The door has a doorknob set higher than the norm, such that one must actually raise one's arm a bit to turn it. That was a surprising touch.

When I went to the reception desk to get a key, the woman reached into a drawer under her counter, then hefted a heavy-ass chain onto the tall counter between us. It was a chain that you'd find attached to a damp stone wall down in a dungeon.

Somehow, I didn't say anything, but I know my pupils must have dilated in surprise, and inside I was chortling. Holy geeeeeeee, are you kidding me?! And here I didn't have my camera with me.  Which I later rectified, as you can see from the fact that I did get some pics from a visit upon check out.

Motel restroom key chain. Phoenix, Arizona. February 2020.

Motel restroom key chain. Phoenix, Arizona. February 2020.

I wondered to myself if the weighty chain is also considered a potential weapon in case the lobby should be stormed by somebody with bad intentions. Because I could see that maybe happening at that motel. It has an Anything-Could-Happen-at-Any-Moment (and has already done) kinda vibe, in addition to a We-Don't-Put-Up-With-Any-Kinda-Your-Shit vibe.

Missouri Flash Trip, Part 2: The Space Capsule Shower

On the way back to El Paso from my July flash trip to Missouri, I stayed at a motel in Tucumcari, New Mexico.

I pulled in just in time to beat a clapping, dark thunderstorm.

I was as delighted with my space capsule shower in this motel as I was with the red velvet love seat in the previous night's room in Missouri.

Space capsule shower in motel, Tucumcari, New Mexico. July 2017.

As small as it was, it felt grander than my shower box in El Paso.

Missouri Flash Trip, Part 1: The Red Velvet Couch

July 2017

In July, I had to dash to Missouri for a turn-around trip.

There are some things you can do by email, post mail, phone, video conferences, or even fax (!), but some things require bodily presence.

So it was I ran to Missouri, requiring two overnights, three days travel time, and a few hours in Missouri to take care of a few minutes' business. 

My destination was a small town in Missouri. I didn't book a motel room in advance, because why would I? How many people go there at one time?

Well. It turns out that when said town hosts a statewide sports event for youth, ALL of the in-town motels are booked!

I had driven all day and it was night when I arrived. I didn't have a Plan B.

Thank goodness there was a motel about 15 miles out of town that had one room left. One. And it was affordable. I grabbed it.

Nothing was remarkable about the motel or my room except this: It had a red velvet couch.

Red velvet couch in motel, Missouri. July 2017.

I was entranced. Red velvet. Budget motel. How can one's mind not contemplate what this couch - love seat, more accurately - has seen and experienced?


I'm carried back to the love motels of Guatemala.

On the Way to Colorado: Snapshots

Route

Between Missouri and Colorado, I took Highway 36 most of the way.

I chose this route because it:

• Has a good mix of four-lane interstate efficiency and two-lane relaxing; 
• Passes through Hiawatha and Marysville, Kansas; and 
• Avoids the oft-traveled Interstate 70, which I've seen plenty before. 

There is some sentimental appeal to Highway 36, also. I used Highway 36 on my very first solo road trip when I traveled up to Mount Rushmore. I remember it for being so empty; a highway that I had to myself. Except for when a police officer pulled me over and gave me a ticket because I was driving in the left lane of the highway! Or speeding. He suggested both. On my birthday! Asshole.

I'm also pretty sure my daughter and I took Highway 36 on our road trip to Alaska many years ago. We left on July 4th. I made sure to drive in the right lane.

Hiawatha was of interest because years and years ago I'd read about a cemetery there. It featured a spot filled with white-stone sculptures honoring a man's deceased wife.

I hadn't heard of Marysville before, but a friend exclaimed her charm with it when I mentioned my route options.

Starlite Motel, Seneca, Kansas. May 2016.

Motel stop

It is always a happy gift to find a retro roadside motel on a trip. At exactly the right time in the evening, upon entering Seneca, Kansas, and when I was ready to pull off the road for the night, I spied the Starlite Motel on my left.

The congenial motel owner greeted me, got me registered, and showed me a basket filled with snacks, from which I could select one. Call me a cheap date, but wow, give me a Route 66ish motel, at a retro room rate, and a SNACK, and I'm in love.

The room was super clean and it was comfortable. Free wifi and a decent TV. 


Dead fox

Gosh, it was sad to see this dead fox on the side of the road the next day.

Normally, I don't feel particularly sad when I see road kills. It is a grim cost of efficient vehicular travel between Points A and B.

But I'm no more immune to the unfair-but-real attraction to the cute-and-furry than the next person. There's even a phrase for this: taxonomic bias.

This fox was cute and furry and looked like a juvenile. Most of all, though, it looked like it had been struck down only minutes earlier.

Dead fox, Highway 36, Kansas. May 2016.

I felt some pangs about adding the fox to the carcass collection, but as you can see, I added it nonetheless.

Snow!

It was May, right?

How enthusiastically I pulled over in Colorado when I saw snow along the side of the road! It wasn't even near the mountains!

Snow in May! Highway 36, Colorado. May 2016.

The embedded insect was a lagniappe.


The Eternity Effect

Sometimes you hit points in a road trip where the road seems interminable. You don't want to look at the time because it's likely only five minutes has gone by since you last looked. You don't want to look at the odometer because, shit, you've only gone two miles since the last time you looked!

There's no radio station coming in, and if there were, it'd be something you don't want to hear. You have overdosed on your own playlists, and need a break from these old friends. You've listened to podcasts or that audio book. It's not time to eat. You don't have to pee. And you're miles and miles from your day's destination.

Interstate 36 for most of Colorado was like this.

But that's just part of the deal sometimes. Pieces of a road trip may include monotony, boredom, impatience to reach the next stop.


At least I did this

Thank the baby deity that I stopped for gas in Anton, Colorado. It was a borderline decision - I had enough gas to "just stop at the next town" or even the one after that, under normal circumstances.

I didn't know at the time there were no other gas stations on Interstate 36 between Anton and Byers.

If I hadn't stopped in Anton, that would have just been another problem on top of this one.


Loose ends

For various reasons, neither Hiawatha nor Marysville were in the cards for a stop on the way out to Colorado. Maybe on the way back.


The most important thing

I arrived at my destination safely.

Guatemala: The Love Motels

In some countries, they are "love motels." In Guatemala, they're "auto hotels."

In my trip between Antigua and Lake Atitlan, I saw plenty. Ditto for the trek to the airport between Antigua and Guatemala City.

I asked my airbnb hostess about the bounty of these love hotels in Guatemala. Again, I had this assumption of Guatemala as a socially conservative culture, yet there is very little subtlety about the nature of these hotel when you pass them by on the road.

She said, oh yes, they are very common. One of the busiest days of the year is Secretary's Day, she reported. This is when bosses take their secretaries out to .... lunch.


Some articles:

• Auto Hotels and Love Hotels, from Taken By the Wind
• The Creeptastic Auto Hotel, from La Aventura Project
• Passions in Secret, or The Explosion of "Auto-Hotels," from GuateBuena, GuateMaya

Here is the website for the Omni auto hotel. You can even book a reservation at this hotel via booking.com. One happy client, "David," reports:

La habitación tan lujosa, es un buen lugar para compartir con la pareja momentos intimos, es hasta el momento el mejor love hotel al que e ido. 

The very luxurious room is a good place to share intimate moments with a partner; so far it's the best love hotel I've been to. 

And here's the website for another auto hotel: Auto Hotel Chocolate. And the Happy Day Auto Hotel's Facebook page here.

The bottom line in any culture is that people are gonna do what people are gonna do. There are work-arounds for every rule.

I don't have a photo of a Guatemalan love hotel. But that's OK. It gives me a chance to revisit the sign from a hotel in Nazret (Adama) in Ethiopia.