Semmes, Alabama: 2022 Azalea Festival

Azalea Festival. Semmes, Alabama. March 2022. Credit: Mzuriana.

When I pulled onto the wet-grass ersatz parking lot, I saw folks carrying to their cars green plants. Azaleas, I presumed. 

I wasn't really at the 2022 Azalea Festival for the azaleas. I have no yard; no garden. I was there for the sunshiney, springtime-in-the-offing, getting-back-to-some-kinda-normal-maybe, some live music maybe, and the potential for kettle corn. 

Azalea Festival. Semmes, Alabama. March 2022. Credit: Mzuriana.

 

Spoiler alert: No kettle corn. Oh, there was a vendor selling some bags of what they might have tried to pass off as kettle corn, but no, I didn't bite on that bait. For one, some of the kernels were dyed green. Pffft. You don't do that to kettle corn. You just don't. 

 

Azalea Festival. Semmes, Alabama. March 2022. Credit: Mzuriana.

 

I'm not a Christian, but the most endearing thing I saw at the festival was a Christ, standing between a purple-draped crucifix and a papier mâché cave, offering hugs with wide open arms to all passersby. I saw him enfold a man into his arms into a big ol' Jesus hug. 

 

Jesus at the Azalea Festival. Semmes, Alabama. March 2022. Credit: Mzuriana.

 

Azalea Festival. Semmes, Alabama. March 2022. Credit: Mzuriana.

 

What a beautiful idea. 

The scene also took me back to a day at the Sprouts Market in El Paso in 2016 or maybe early 2017. Trump had won the presidency, all sorts of racist and aggressive effluvia had poured out from the American sewer systems, and families fleeing untenable lives in Central America were being ripped apart, their children stolen from their parents. 

While I walked between the big bins of fresh vegetables that day in El Paso, the Muzak played some kinda tune, maybe from back in the decades of the Vietnam War-Richard Nixon-Watergate-Oliver North-and-Iran-Contra, and this thought came: "I need a hug." 

I hope Azalea Jesus gave many hugs at the festival. 

Which now reminds me of Parking Lot Jesus, who restored order from grocery cart mayhem: 

 

The city of Semmes recently rebranded itself with a new logo and stuff. This resulted in the purchase of lots of swag for residents and visitors: pens, magnets, fans, and the like. I availed myself of some bounty. 

It was nice to see kiddos out doing what kiddos do on a sunny festival day. 

Azalea Festival. Semmes, Alabama. March 2022. Credit: Mzuriana.

 

 

Mobile, Alabama: COVID-19 Unfolding, Part 8888: The Free Tests Delivered

 

Free rapid COVID tests from US government. March 2022. Credit: Mzuriana.

To add to the future archives of COVID-19 history, I bring to our societal photo album the four boxes of free rapid tests. Each box holds two tests. 

 

 

Screenshot of COVIDtests.gov on March 15 2022

 

 

I have taken one of the tests. Negative. 

By the way: The instructions suck because of inconsistencies or weirdness in style, confusing punctuation, and a red-herring alert. 

To wit: 

A.      You may have Test Set 1 or Test Set 2 in the package. Please follow proper steps based on the specific set you received. 

There is no written guidance to tell you which test set you have. To discern which you have, you've got to look at the content images and then the contents of your package. It would have been so simple to state: Test Set 1 has a prefilled tube. Test Set 2 has an empty tube and a bottle of solution. And then the images can support the text. 

B.      Instructions for Test Set 2: Open the package, take out the COVID-19 Test Card in Pouch, empty Tube, sealed Solution and the Swab. 

So you've got a combination of verbal commands and also a series of nouns. And the weird capitalization of the nouns. A lack of articles before the nouns. And silence on the screw-on top for the tube.

This would have been much clearer: Open the package. Remove the contents: a test stick (inside a plastic pouch), an empty tube, a screw-on top for the tube, a bottle of solution, and a cotton swab.  

 C.    Weird information about the TWO EDGES in the empty tube: Please look carefully, there are two edges on the empty tube. Then squeeze the sealed solution completely into the empty tube. 

What? Why are the two edges important? The sentence following this alert gives no guidance. It isn't until after the images that they become relevant. 

This would have been much clearer: Squeeze all of the solution from the bottle into the tube. There are two edges in the side of the tube. Look at the edges in the drawing. The solution in the tube must be at Edge 1 or higher. If the solution is below Edge 1, the test result might be invalid. 

Finally: The technical writers and their supervisors have not followed the principles of plain language. When a target readership is the general public, plain language is a must. Not because the general public lacks intelligence. It's because, in the case of the COVID-19 self-testing kits, most members of the general public have neither experience in lab testing nor exposure to the clinical vocabulary. 

The INTENDED USE section of the test instructions seems directed to health care professionals, based on the polysyllabic clusterfuck in same, in addition to the:

• Use of third person in reference to the test takers; and
• Reliance on passive voice. 

However, the technical writers change the voice in the FAQ to second person ("you" form), which is an improvement in readability for us regular folks. 

 

Lotsa tubes. Exhibit name: Chubasco. Tohono Chul, Tucson, Arizona. April 2019. Credit: Mzuriana.

 

Rootless: Of Poop

I was searching for the right photo for an article today, and as I perused the possibilities, I noticed how often I snapped pics of poop on my forays both domestic and abroad. 

Even ancient poop, as evidenced below: 

 

Ancient mammoth poop. UTEP Centennial Museum. March 2017. Credit: Mzuriana.

 

And written about it

2011: [Caucasus] Georgia: A Story of Poo

2013: Alamogordo, New Mexico: Unidentified Effluvia. Gosh, I can sure make myself laugh.  

2013: Valley of Cow Patties, erm Fires, New Mexico

2016: Colorado: Rocky Mountain National Park

2017: El Paso: Mammoth Dung

2017: Big Bend National Park: Of Poop and Circumstance

2018: Missouri: Ozark Scenic Roadways, Part 1: Echo Bluffs State Park

2018: Missouri: Three Creeks Hike

2019: Tucson, AZ: Humane Borders Water Run: July

 

On a related note: Toilets I Have Known. 

 

 

Poop, vodka, and jawbone. Mestia, Caucasus Georgia. May 2012. Credit: Mzuriana.

 

 

10 Years Ago: Being Rootless Means No Spring Cleaning

Mop on brick wall. Missouri. September 2010. Credit: Mzuriana.

 

Original post here. 

 

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Being Rootless Means No Spring Cleaning

In the New York Times article, Getting a Jump on Spring Cleaning, the author gives excellent tips for the annual (or for some germ-phobes, semi-annual) cleaning extravaganza.

I never was much on such grand gestures when I was rooted, but sometimes I felt guilty about it. Now I have no home to spring clean and pretty much no stuff. Ergo, no cleaning and no guilt. Tra la.